Your Momma Don’t Dance: Zumba Fail

Photo by Cimm

#17. 101 things in 1001 days: Try Zumba

I barely got a workout as I stood in my first Zumba class stepping a little in place, baffled by what to do. Every two seconds or so we switched to a new move. My strategy of hiding in the very back of the class worked for a while until we rotated 180 degrees, and I was then looking ridiculous in the front of the class. I was utterly unable to do the moves. At one point I was supposed to be skipping, and all I could think was “C’mon, I know how to skip.”

The instructor shouted out encouraging comments: “Here we go,” “again,” and “that’s it,” only it wasn’t it. We hit flamenco, the Charleston, African dancing, and I don’t even know what else. I think she shouted “Bollywood” at one point, but I can’t be sure.

I should have known I was in for this. I tried the Kinect Dance Central game a few months ago. I was quite hopeless at that, too, even when I set it to break down the moves and do them in slow motion. My virtual instructor on the game would say to me, “Don't worry. It takes courage just to try,” and I would get embarrassed by a cartoon drawing while alone in my basement.

I say all this with a smile, though. 

P.S. This gym etiquette flowchart from Slate says, "Anyone bold enough to Zumba in public does not recognize humiliation."